Moving On!

Feeling a bit emotional lately.  It seems that all of these things are hitting me at once, and I'm not at all sure how to handle any of it.  I've known all year and I suppose all of his life that Wyatt would grow up turn eighteen, graduate, and leave home at some point.  It's the way it's suppose to happen!  Right?  Don't get me wrong, I am so proud of him and his hard work to graduate.  I am proud that despite a rough couple of years he made it, and I suppose I made, so WE made it!  Every day for the last year and a half it's been him and I!  Some days it's been horrible.... Some days it's been wonderful, but all in all we have become very close because of this experience.  Nothing makes you closer than having to spend time together.  When Wyatt and I first started this adventure I'm pretty sure he hated me, at least that's what I heard on a pretty regular basis.  But after the weeks and months rolled by, those walls of anger melted away, and this year has really flown by.  He has grown into a mature and thoughtful young man.  I'm not ready for him to leave yet.  Hopefully we have a few more months before he is confident enough to head out into the real world.  When he does leave, I know I will miss him tremendously! 

Wyatt's growing up has also brought on this complete and utter despair of my own.  It has brought front and center my own feelings of inadequacies.  As he has applied for jobs, I have realized that I am barely qualified for the same jobs he is applying for.  I know I have been busy raising kids, but wow I certainly am not any more prepared for the real world than he is.  I think I've been hiding in my husbands shadow for a long long time.  Maybe even using my children as an excuse not to progress in any way.  It's time!  But I'm really so unsure what direction even to go in.  So it's time to find myself somewhere out there in that big ol world!