Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Where Did You Go?

Yesterday during a little meltdown it occurred to me as I yelled it (or really spoke loudly) to my husband that "EVERYTHING STRESSES ME OUT, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO PUT ME IN A BUBBLE TO PROTECT ME FROM IT???" It occurred to me that I need to step back a little bit from my life and stop carrying the weight of the world around with me constantly. I'm just not sure how to go about it. I know I haven't always been this person, this worrier. I used to walk with blind faith that things always worked out, and all that. Back in ancient times (or around 3-4 years ago), when I truly believed that nothing that bad would ever happen in my life, and the worst things going on really weren't that bad at all. Boy, has my perspective changed, but unfortunately it has taken it's tole on me. I've become angry, anxiety prone, and I let every thing bother me so much. I don't know why, maybe because I don't want to be caught off guard ever again. So how to I stop this very addictive cycle of anger and worry. How do I become the silly, happy person I used to be? I miss that gal, she was fun! I'm tired of sitting and waiting for the next bad thing... missing all the good things around me every day.
Today was a better day than yesterday... lets hope its a sign of things to come.

1 comment:

leaner said...

Do you suffer from anxiety? I know I do. I worry constantly. I miss being a happy-go-lucky girl. Its too bad you don't live closer, you could go out with Hairball and I and be silly, or (Dacheese and I), we get ridiculously silly and it is a great way to let all of that go, if only for a few hours. It helps though.

I do think that recognizing that feeling will help, maybe you can stop feeling that way before it escalates to an unmanageable level?