The thing about a wet winter is in the mountains when the snow starts to melt you get a lot of water running down making its own paths. I had to go walk around this morning to check it out. While the earth is flooding, I have to admit I've been feeling kind of flooded myself. I've been so busy, almost distracting myself from what I've really been feeling. I'm a bit emotionally overwhelmed at the moment. Nothing huge has been going on just little things that fester. Wyatt turning 16 (WOWZA) I wasn't quite ready for this whole thing... driving, girls, little steps to Independence. Then there's Kasey being 6... she got a sweet little phone call from a Big Twig friend on her birthday, it pretty much broke my heart. I miss old friends. I can't say that I've made new friends here. I'm involved in the community and I'm getting to know a lot of people, but no real connections. Then the other day I was following a link to look at houses
Aunt Lynda has been looking at, and although I've avoided looking for months, curiosity go the best of me and I looked for our house. I found it... and the listing made me sad. All our hard work presented as a HUD home, for sale as is, like it's some sort of dump. It's not a dump, I even cleaned it before I left... although that was more than a year ago, so no telling what time has done to it. I feel like I've moved on and let go of the past, until almost like a haunted memory of a lost love one, something sparks the memory of the town that I called home, and the people I called friends.
The thing about a wet winter is in the mountains when the snow starts to melt you get a lot of water running down making its own paths. I had to go walk around this morning to check it out. While the earth is flooding, I have to admit I've been feeling kind of flooded myself. I've been so busy, almost distracting myself from what I've really been feeling. I'm a bit emotionally overwhelmed at the moment. Nothing huge has been going on just little things that fester. Wyatt turning 16 (WOWZA) I wasn't quite ready for this whole thing... driving, girls, little steps to Independence. Then there's Kasey being 6... she got a sweet little phone call from a Big Twig friend on her birthday, it pretty much broke my heart. I miss old friends. I can't say that I've made new friends here. I'm involved in the community and I'm getting to know a lot of people, but no real connections. Then the other day I was following a link to look at houses Aunt Lynda has been looking at, and although I've avoided looking for months, curiosity go the best of me and I looked for our house. I found it... and the listing made me sad. All our hard work presented as a HUD home, for sale as is, like it's some sort of dump. It's not a dump, I even cleaned it before I left... although that was more than a year ago, so no telling what time has done to it. I feel like I've moved on and let go of the past, until almost like a haunted memory of a lost love one, something sparks the memory of the town that I called home, and the people I called friends. 
6 comments:
:( I know what you mean.
Your walking pictures look pretty cool though.
aww...that would be tough
Love ya!!!!
Ah - your cute little lonely house - that does make me sad - i had to go look at the pictures. Weird thing for me is that I feel like living in MT was just a bit of a dream and life is as it is now. I am already starting to love it up here but will be glad when we can get settled and get acquainted with our neighbors. We're already planning a fishing trip with a couple of guys and their wives from work so will be nice to get acquainted with people. The big advantage to living here is almost everyone is from somewhere else so it's more of the same feeling we had when we were in NV. The other night we went to a company dinner with 6 couples - they were from CO, ID, MT, MI, NV and one couple actually from AK. In MT they were a bit more cliquey so was hard to get acquainted.
That part of me isn't healed yet either.
I understand, I drove by the apt. complex where my apt. burned down over 10 years back. It's always surreal. Spent the other day going through a town I lived in 6 years back, and called home and had friends and now, it's a husk to me. I've changed and moved through it. I have few friends here in town, a lot fewer than where I was living but I still like that I've moved on, even if it was with fewer friends. Sometimes the adult steps are hard.
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