So I'm sitting here realizing what a goober I am...

So maybe everything in my little (crazy AZ brain, as Alex's Human would say) should not be shared with the world. Just so you all know I don't often ponder death, well maybe I do, but maybe I shouldn't share that either. I have a huge amount of undesignated time on my hands at the moment, and quite honestly I am having a very hard dealing with it. I try to stay occupied, but pretty soon I'm laying around... literally laying around thinking... and it's all I can do to try to stay on the positive track. I think about my wasted time, I think about having no goals, I think about all the people I ache for, and all the people I have forgotten over the years. I think of the all the craziness that's happened for the the last year. I think of people that have died this last year. I think of the bird flu (thanks pen-nut). I think about my kids, and their adjusting to this place. I think about movies, and books, and music. I think about facebook. I think about running (not because I do run, but because I think it would be cool if I did). I think about what other people think about me. I think about my childhood. I think about things I wished I'd do different or the same. I think about.... I think about every thing a person could think about. And I especially think of what a goober I am for not having any aspiration to be any different than I am right now, even though most days my heart aches for so much more, if only my heart would vocalize what it aches for, because my brains having a super hard time trying to figure it all out. So that's that, now you know!