Last year at this time, I was headed down to Queen Creek. I was going to spend time with my mom, to hold her hand, to say goodbye. It was one of the hardest weeks of my life, and yet I wouldn't of been anywhere else. Nothing was more important than that week spent with her, my dad, and my siblings. I look back a year later, and I'm so grateful for that time I got to spend with them all. I still ache from the loss of my mom, I see older ladies with their middle age daughters and feel robbed of at least 20 more years I should of got to spend with her. I miss going antiquing, or making craftiness, talking on the phone. I miss her advice, the nonjudgmental way she talked to me, her toughen up attitude. I miss her unconditional love that she had for even my most difficult children. It's been a rough year of adjustments and changes without her here.
Now here in this week, a year later, I sit and wait. I wait for another life change, but on the complete opposite side of the cycle. I anticipate the birth of my baby. I think about the blessing she will be in our lives, the joy just knowing she is coming has brought me. I think about the time she got to spend with my mom on the other side, and what that must have been like. This week I wait for new life, a brand new person to share my life with. All the new memories that we will have. Someone else to fill my heart.
Even though I have a hurt in my heart, so close to the anniversary of my mom leaving this earthly home. I also have a healing, looking forward to welcoming our new little blessing.