I'm so tired of winter!!! I want it to be warm and nice outside. I don't want to defrost my car anymore. Its not just winter, its a lot of things. I'm missing my biggest boy. I worry about him everyday. He hasn't found a job yet. He has had several interviews but so far nothing. It makes him feel stressed and he calls me, making me feel stressed. Because lets face it I'm not so good at things I can't control. And there is little if nothing I can do from this far away.
Then there is everyday girl drama... I know we all went through it, but I really have a hard time dealing with the "so-and-so isn't talking to me because I told them this" or "my friend won't play with me because I am not part of their club" Then they aren't much of a friend, right??? Right?? Drama! I hate not being able to step in and pull all those snotty girls hair! That's what I would of done at that age. But my girls aren't like that at all! They are the turn the other cheek, kind of girls! Which is great! Sort of.
I have felt so lonely lately. Lonely for friends. There is such good people here, but no one that I've really connected with yet. I guess that has been my eternal quest since I've moved back to AZ. To find a friend nearby to hang with. I just have all these thoughts and emotions just building up and up. It would be great to just be able to talk it all out over lunch! I avoid this blog like the plague because this isn't the kind of blogging I want to do, the venting kind. But really that's all I have inside me right now... emotion, and not the good fluffy kind. The kind that makes me feel like I'm a bad mom, a bad wife, a horrible friend! The angry sharp kind of emotion, that makes me curl up under a blanket and not come back out. But everyday I get up any way and do the stuff I got to do. Because I'm cool like that !