Monday, November 1, 2010
Usually when I least expect it, something happens that really makes me question everything I ever knew. The thing I question most is the fact that I really have tried to be a good mom. I know I've made mistakes. But for the most part I love my kids, I support them, and I have fun with them. But for the last 7 months or so I've been watching one of my children make mistake after mistake, and I've really began to think I must have really screwed up somewhere. I have tried to rationalize with myself that some people are just born with different personalities, but I can't help but fall back into thinking "where did I go wrong?" "what could I have done differently?" It honestly breaks my heart that "said" child seems to be in self destruct mode, and I have no control over what happens next. I just wish that something will click inside of him and he will know what a great person he is, and that he is loved no matter what, and he doesn't need to do all of this crap. I'm at a total loss on this one.