FRUSTRATION!

I could scream and kick things right now I'm so frustrated. It's the eldest son. And I feel like I'm at a breaking point of not knowing how to handle him. I've always encouraged him to be whom ever he thinks he is. I've bought him drums, guitars, skateboards... trying to find something he can be passionate about. For years I've let him not play sports because he didn't seem to care for them. But he always liked soccer. Last year he missed out on playing because of the change of schools, and the change of when soccer season is. So he said he'd play this year. I know I didn't misunderstand him when he said he wanted to play soccer. So we found out about it and encouraged him to go. I took him, and let him pick out cleats, a soccer ball, shorts, and shin guards. And he started attending summer scrimmages. He griped a little, but seemed to be enjoying it. He missed the 2 a day practices because we (yeah, we spent a bunch a money we don't really have) to let him go to Michigan (and yes I'm glad he had this opportunity) but he did get to miss the intensive soccer practices. Still not hearing anything like "mom I don't want to do this, while he was gone I payed the school soccer fee of $75. Then he got home from Michigan and directly started school, including after school practices, that I'm assuming are a mandatory part of being on the team.... And now all I'm hearing is complain complain complain. "I hate soccer, it's stupid, I'm too tired, I don't want to do this." I get that he's tired, he is waking up a little earlier this year to go to Zero hour Show Choir. I get that he's not used to doing practices after school, and used to being able to do his own thing, I get that he's a teenager, and honestly doesn't know what he really wants ( just living on impulse, and wanting to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it) But I'm seriously irritated about the whole situation. For one I don't like any one to quit part way through. I think once you make a commitment to something you should see it through for at least that season. I also think that being physical in that way is good for your mind and body. I also think that with money being very tight around these parts it makes me irritated that he didn't say something before we bought supplies and paid the fee. So right now I feel like a crap mom because I yelled at him and made him go to practice.....