Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Good thing for tissues!

I'M NOT A CRYER! You can ask anyone, you can ask my mom, my friend C, and my hubby... I don't cry about stuff. I don't cry at movies, I don't cry at books, I don't cry when I get hurt... I just don't do it. But I tell you what its a darn good thing I invested in some water proof mascara because I have been wearing it every darn day for a week. I'm trying to be a big brave girl in all of this but dang.... who knew I was so attached to this place. I sat in the high school parking lot last night, and watched 2 very large (probably senior age) boys dragging their feet through the snow. Curiosity got the best of me, and I watched them for 10 minutes or so dragging their feet back and forth across the lawn. These big ol' boys had drawn a picture in the snow... an ocean with fish. My tears welled up in my eyes. Was this something to cry about, no... but the simplicity of it really is what this town means to me. I went to the bank this morning, and the teller said "I heard your moving", I don't know this lady personally.... once again I feel a little teary eyed... in this little town people know me... and possibly even care whether my family lives here or not. And how dare the owner of ACE hardware ask me "how things are going" to which I reply "not to good today Mike" He's not only the ACE hardware guy, he's my neighbor, our kids play together, his wife and I visit in the yard in the summertime.... there won't be any more summers here, when the kids ride around the block on their bicycles... no more walks to the park that the community built out of love. I walk around the shell of my house, mostly packed ready to go... a house we had made our home... I'm reminded of the Relief Society sisters who made a night of helping me take down my ugly kitchen wall paper, Digging up tree stumps in the backyard with the kids, Hanging sheet rock, painting, laying tile....
I'm reminded of the times we had friends over, I'm taken back to every holiday and birthday we have celebrated here, bringing our sweet Kasey home from the hospital, and swinging on the porch swing in the front yard on long summer afternoons (its like something out of a different era, the world was more relaxed, time stood still)
I'm going to miss the wrongly dialed phone calls from a little old lady asking for Harold, and no matter how many times she's done it, I can guarantee she'll do it again the next month, the neighbors yearly Christmas cookie plate, the Halloween parade, the little movie theatre, Timber chicken, and drives up the boulder in springtime. This is where my kids have grown, where I have grown, and where I call home. I feel like I will leave a big chunk of my heart here. So I will cry and say goodbye to all these people I love, things I care about, and places I'll miss.


lvh said...

So after going to play last Thursday night, I can understand why you love that place.

However, just keep in mind that the most important people in BT you are taking with you. A house is just a building - where you and your family reside is home and you'll get to add lots of new memories in your new home. For some reason, you and your family need to be in Springerville at this time and you may not find out why for many years but everything will be good.

Amie said...

awww, sweet post! So natural to have cherished memories and feelings about a place you've lived 10 years. Go ahead and cry...it's good for the soul. I know people hate to hear it, but you'll make new friends that you'll grow to love too. And maybe you'll see ME once next year!

Anonymous said...

Someone once told me that toxins are released from your body when you cry, so cry away!!
Big T is so simple and yet so hard to let go of. I sympathize with your post.


Michelle said...

We're going to miss you guys so much! But, I know you'll have wonderful new memories in a place without six month winters. I figured the wind today was enough to make you say, "Good riddance!"