I finally announced it officially on social media.  I'm pregnant for the 6th time.  At first I had a lot of mixed feelings about it.  I love my babies, all of them.  They are my everything, but I was starting to look forward to grandchildren, working on me, enjoying a new chapter of life.  I have kids getting married and going to college.  Then on the other hand, I have sweet little Annie that is so much fun, has cured an ache in my heart.  She was going to grow up pretty much as an only child.  Would that be fair for her?  So when I found out I was pregnant, I had my moments of guilty worry.  But now I have come to a place of excitement and happiness for this little one to join our family.
There are moments of feeling really old for this stuff, but mostly it makes me feel good and capable and womanly.

Life is full of changes... Oh so many changes.  I have gotten used to the constant changes being the norm around here.  When you have grown kids, teenage kids, and a toddler, life is busy, exciting, and exhausting.  I'm really not sure what to expect next.  But I look ahead with positivity, because it's all good stuff?  I can do this!

I had an emotional moment or two today while addressing wedding invites.  It's hard to believe that in 52 days I'll be a mother in law.  It's harder to believe my son will be married.  The last 7 years of his life haven't always been easy.  Many a night I spent pleading with God to protect him mostly from himself.  Many a night I spent pleading with God that he could find his way, that he could see his own worth, that he could find people in his life that could build him up, love him for exactly the person he is.  And then came this girl.  This girl that laughs at his crazy antics, this girl who is patient and kind, who makes him better, who brings out the very best in him.  I love this girl for that.  I truly believe she is an answer to my pleadings.
But the a hurt in my heart reminds me this is the end of being the most important woman in my boys life.  Gone are the days of my opinion being the most important opinion.  Goodbye to my little boy.  I know he will always be my Son, but now I'm the second lady in his life.  And I'm ok with that.

Another summer is dwindling down.  I wish I could hold on to it a little longer.  This is the last year of school for Kynzie.   She grew up way to fast.  And I'm not sure I'm ready for her to be a senior.  It really doesn't matter if I'm ready, it's going to happen regardless of how I feel.
So many changes all the time.  So much to get used to and have feelings about.  The constant rotating door of life.  I miss my grown kids being little, but yet I love the adults they have become/are becoming.  Someday all of the changes wear on me.  Some days I just want to pause and hold on to my kids a little longer.  But I can't... So I just try to enjoy the moments we are in.

2016 is starting off in a big way... A few days ago I felt so happy and excited because I see this year as being full of great happy things.  I can't believe my 1st baby boy is getting married.  I'm so happy he found someone that loves him for exactly the person he is.  I'm so grateful for this.  And yet it also makes me a little sad, because there is this person in his life that now is his everything.  And I'm just some side character.  I know it's the way it's suppose to be, and she's a real sweetie!  It's just a strange transition.  Another milestone in being a parent.  You give your kids your whole life, so they can be the perfect person for someone else.  Kind of bittersweet.
I'm very proud of the Man he has become.

I have feelings! I'm a person and I have feelings!
That's all!

Sunday's are a crazy day for a Mom of a toddler.  I love every minute at home with my little girl.  I love watching her run around the house, testing limits, exploring her world. I love watching her learn. I love listening to her nonstop babble and squeals of joy.  I love that at nap time she lays in her bed and takes a nap. But on Sunday's all of these things that I love become horrible.  It's hard to keep her trapped in between two pews.  Her babbling and squeals become extremely loud during prayers.  She runs down the hall like a crazed jackrabbit running from a trucks headlights. I don't know the last time I got to sit through my meetings.  But this Sunday I tried my hardest to be patient and just let her be. I figured if she annoyed other members of the congregation they would get over it.  As I sat in Sunday school with mostly older folks, she ran large laps around the whole group.  After class an older man came and told me she is the sweetest girl he's ever seen.
Then in Relief Society (a class with only women) she went and sat on a ladies lap and played with her bracelets for a good part of the meeting.  It was such a relief to be able to attend my classes without feeling overwhelmed by my spirited toddler.  I'm so grateful for the kind hearted and truly Christlike people I go to church with.